Diary of a CL Sorority Girl- The Big & Little Relationship

A sister is a forever friend.  This statement is definitely true for the bond between a “Big” and “Little.” A Big is a sister assigned to a new member within the first few weeks of their pledge period.  That new member then becomes that sister’s Little.

The Big-Little relationship creates a family lineage.  So the Big of the Big of the new member becomes the new member’s Grand-Big.  A Big can also take on two Littles, in which the Littles become each other’s twins.  Family trees can expand and continue for many generations.

The purpose of the Big during the new member period is to act as a mentor for their Little.  It is their duty to introduce their Littles to the sorority and help them adjust to Greek life. Bigs answer any questions their Littles might have regarding the chapter, the sorority, college or with life in general.

A Big is often the one who gives her Little her first set of letters along with many gifts and words of encouragement throughout the new member period.  A Little often gives her Big a decorated paddle at the end of the semester.  Although the Big may want to spoil her Little throughout the new member period, the role of the Big is not as a gift giver, but as someone to lean on.

A great way to get closer to your Big or Little is through family meals.  Get together with your Little, Big, Grand Big, etc. and get to know more about each other.  Discuss your ambitions within the sorority, college and after graduation.  Seek advice from your family if you plan on running for a position.  Your sorority family wants to help in any way they can and watch you succeed.

The bond between a Big and her Little is unique. The Big often becomes the Little’s first friend in the sorority, and her closest.  There is a large amount of mutual trust and respect in the relationship.  They rely on each other for advice and support.  As a Big, one tries to be a classy role model to her Little, in and out of the sorority.  The Little will turn to the Big for advice and encouragement.  Although the sorority as a whole works as a support system, it is your Big and Little who shine through the most.  The relationship consists of guidance, advice, laughter and support.

For me, and for many others, my Big is my closest friend in my sorority.  She has given me endless amount of support and has consistently been someone I can rely on.  I never knew what it meant to have a sister until I met her.  She will reach out to me when she knows that I am stressed or something is wrong, and I try to do the same.  My Big has helped smooth out my transition into Greek Life in a fun and meaningful way.  She is one person that I know that I can always count on and that I can trust.  I am proud to be her Little and I hope eventually my Little will feel the same way about me.

What does your Big/Little relationship mean to you?

What some other sorority ladies have to say about their Bigs and Littles:

“Big/lil is really being there for someone – on both ends – a big needs the encouragement for a job interview and a lil needs encouragement with the first big paper of her college career!” Shelly Marie Redmond, Alpha Sigma Tau, CL Editor & Chief & CEO

“I think the big/little relationship is the most important relationship a sister can have in a sorority. A big sister will always be there for you in good times and in bad. She is a shoulder to cry on or a person to laugh with. She is someone who you can always count on to be there throughout your life. Being a big sister is one of the best feelings about being in a sorority. I loved guiding my littles through the new member conference and spoiling them. When they became active members I loved seeing them succeed in the chapter. They are my closest friends in my sorority along with my big and the ones who I hope to keep as friends for the rest of my life,” Courtney Finnegan, Kappa Kappa Gamma, Zeta Chi Chapter, Marist College.

“My big was the reason I fell in love with Alpha Chi. She showed me what it meant to truly care about another person, to truly become invested in someone’s life and to look out for friends like family. She was a never-ending source of support, love and encouragement and was always there when I needed someone to talk to. She convinced me that being in a sorority was all about finding out more about yourself- not about trying to fit in.” Meaghan O’Connor, Alpha Chi Omega, University of Michigan.

“Being big & little means, to me, having someone I can look up to and aspire to be like. My big is a person I can vent to when something is bothering me – especially a problem involving my closest friends or a relationship. She can vent to me all she wants to, as well. It is a lifelong relationship and always wonderful to have one-on-one big/little time together. Even when your big has graduated, she is only a phone call or text away and will always be there to encourage and support.” Lauren Townsend, Phi Mu, Beta Nu Chapter, Bethany College.

“Big/little to me means making a friendship that, if properly cared for, can last a lifetime. I am obsessed with my little and love getting to know her. I feel like she looks to me as a mentor, and I love when she comes to me for advice. But having a big/little relationship also means having fun getting to know each other and someone that always has your back.” Megan Stein, Kappa Kappa Gamma, Gamma Theta Chapter, Drake University

“I feel like when you’re a big you’re supposed to pay attention, care for, and give respect to your little. It really shouldn’t matter what you get her or how much money you spent on her, but what kind of relationship you have.” Alex Kundrat, Pi Phi Ny Eta NYU.

“My Big relationship is the big sister I never had.  Whether I’m freaking out over a test and need to be calmed down, upset over something and need to vent to someone, need to borrow clothes, or just want a friend to go to lunch with- my big is there.” Kelly Wall, Kappa Kappa Gamma, Zeta Chi Chapter, Marist College.

Nicole is a CL intern who goes to Marist College.  She is a Communications major with a concentration in Journalism and PR.  Nicole is a member of Kappa Kappa Gamma, Marist Ambassadors, and Communication Arts Society.  She enjoys running and hanging out with her sorority sisters and friends.

GIFTS for a 21-Year-Old: Cash-Friendly & Creative D-I-Y

After I read Briana’s post, I glanced up and fixed my eyes upon a cute wine glass that a good friend decorated for me one year for a birthday present and thought, “Perfect for an ‘in my budget’ and affordable 21-year-old present!”.  Then it hit me: I was inspired to write a post just for you!  Here are the cash-friendly ideas and create-your-own/do-it-yourself presents I have done myself, been given, or thought of while brainstorming.  These gifts will identify to a sorority sister, casual co-ed, classy co-ed, comedic co-ed and a great girlfriend.  

1.  I just mentioned a wine glass, but you do not have to choose that one.  You can decide from a martini glass, margarita glass, or even a wine bottle!  Plain ones can be found anywhere for a cheap price: Wal-Mart, TJ Maxx, any craft store, and other similar locations.  If you don’t have any yourself, find a friend that has the painting essentials: paintbrushes (think about cup-ware size when choosing this as well), bright and fun acrylic paint colors and you can choose to dab a wee bit of modge podge over the dried paint for lifetime stay!

2.  This is a very cute one for sorority sisters: order or buy a baby paddle for less than $5 from A.C. Moore or other stores that provide them.  They are as long as one of your lengthier fingers and can be used as a keychain as well.  You can paint or order her initials letters or the numbers ‘2’ and ‘1’. Cut a little bit of string and tell her she can put it on her doorknob, wall, or my favorite – hang from her car’s rearview mirror. 

3.  If not a sorority girl, you can still use the same idea as #2, but without an obvious “fraternity/sorority” paddle and buy a straighter, more board like small keychain, star, or princess crown to decorate however you want to!

4.  I recently made my mom and a friend a pictured collage birthday card at the picture station at Wal-Mart that takes less than 5 minutes!  It was LESS than one dollar!  You could easily put pictures of you and the special birthday girl in the collaged frames and type a little message along with it and maybe add a cute cocktail mixer, margarita salt-top, a lime- anything to go along with it!  It is personable, yet very inexpensive and shows you still care and took time to customize your charming card! 

5.  Buy a poster and write down 21 creative things she will have to do on her birthday with you and her other friends!  A couple of things my friend Anna wrote for our friend Sarah to do were: “Go into your room and find something wacky, tacky, and fun to wear for the rest of the night – and must get approved by Anna and Kayla” – the winner: a backpack. “Randomly yell ‘it’s my birthday!’ or ‘I’m 21!’ throughout the night”.  You get the idea!

6.  Create a “Margarita” Basket.  Buy a basket and pick and choose to add: margarita glass (and decorate – look at #1), mix, salt-top, lime, Bath & Body Works “Island Margarita” home fragrance room spray and/or 4 oz. candle. 

7.  Wine stopper and wine glass tassels!  Definitely cash-friendly and very cute accessories! (My friend Abby gave me those in the picture!)

8.  For giggles: a breathalyzer – just Google or go to Amazon to find super cheap deals, and then you can create and add something from #1-#8 above! 

9.  For more chuckles: “Cocktails for Dummies” book and create and add something from #1-#8 above!

10.  Buy a cork board to hang onto her wall.  Think of a general color scheme and paint the board a base color.  Once dried, write with another color of your ideal spectrum something along the lines of “My 21st birthday…” or “My First Legal Moments/Memories” or something more creative.  Then draw different colors of paint to act as pictured borders where she will place photos from her 21st birthday bash once they’re printed.  If there was a theme involved, try to use those colors or symbols in a corner or two, or between borders, example: Mardi Gras – purple, gold, green and masquerade mask or beads.  Oh, and add a little message on the back so she won’t forget who gave it to her in the future and for proof you are SO imaginative!! J 

11.  My best friend Abby did this for me one year, too!  Get a ceramic piggy bank (I know AC Moore and Michaels has them) and decorate with ceramic paint pen or acrylic and smooth over a dab of modge podge for long-lasting stay.  Add a little message on a card to say, “Just four more years until you can rent a car!  You can start saving now!”

12.  Create a photo album of 21 different adventures you and your sister/co-ed/girlfriend have created together and add little captions beside them.  You can probably find a scrapbook/photo album with an unfinished wooden cover that you can paint and decorate as well! 

13.  For laughs: Get a picture printed that you know is not your birthday girl’s favorite.. for funny reasons of course- where she is blinking, laughing, not ready for the picture, acting silly and add a little message to say it is her new driver’s license picture, note it’s a joke (duh!), and offer to drive her to the local DMV and pay for her new license if it requires payment. If no charge or very little, take her out for a birthday dessert too!

14.  Speaking of dessert, one of the easiest and fun ways to show you took out time for your best girl’s birthday is to bake goodies, like a cake, cupcakes, or whatever!  Check out a yummy cake balls recipe we just love!  

These gifts don’t have to be just for a 21-year-old!  You can add them in a Big/Little present mix, another birthday age, or for any special occasion!  Tell us which present you chose to do for your next girlfriend’s 21st birthday at intern@collegelifestyles.org!

Kayla Norris is an intern at College Lifestyles(TM).  She is a proud sister of Alpha Sigma Tau National Sorority and her favorite gift to make/decorate is the corkboard (#10)!